I was talking with a friend about the venues in which I teach, expressing love for the teaching, but ambivalence about the venue. And then she said something brilliant: 'You don't have to be in that classroom to be a teacher.' Silly me-- I thought the place defined who I was, but I forgot that definition comes from within. So, now one of my goals for the next year is to find new, supportive venues to be who I am -- educator, massage therapist, kindness-bearing human. In the grand tradition of what you send out comes back to you, a beautiful opportunity came to me. Starting in January, I will be teaching an ongoing muscular anatomy class at a I am excited and a little overwhelmed. There is always that moment of 'Am I the right person to do this?

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Couldn't someone else do it better?' I remind myself -- I am the best person for this, because I am the one pouring my heart and energy into it.

I can't wait to introduce a whole new audience to their own bodies. It's like Schoolhouse Rock said, way back when: 'It's great to learn -- 'cause knowledge is power!' Today, I suppressed a mild TPS flare up. My client asked me to check a bump on the back of her neck. 'I mean, I know you're not a doctor and you can't diagnose,' she said, 'But I just want to know what you think. If you think I should see my doctor or whatever.' I was seized with uncertainty.

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I palpated the bump on her neck. I had no idea what I was feeling.

Manual lymphatic drainage. Manual lymphatic drainage is the application of light, flowing strokes of massage in specific patterns with the goal of alleviating lymph edema after lymph node resection or radiation therapy.

I just didn't know, and this made me extremely nervous. As a person who knows lots of other stuff, and enjoys teaching this stuff to people, it feels distinctly unsafe to admit when something is beyond me. 'I hope you don't mind a little bald head.'

'My skin is kinda dry from the cold.' 'I just didn't have time to shave today.' 'I need a pedicure.' (stomach gurgles) 'Oh! I'm so sorry!' This is just a short sample of the hundreds of different ways clients apologize to me about their bodies.

I'm sure every massage therapist can relate. Our clients come in and trust us enough to let us touch them, but they still want to make sure we therapists are comfortable. This has led me to establish The Rule. Outside of bigotry or sexual innuendo, I try not to have rules about what clients should or should not say.

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My office is a safe, private space. Sometimes people need a place to say out loud the scary or possibly unaccepted thing they are thinking about their lives.

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But, one day, I had enough of the above, so I now have The Rule, which is: You don't apologize for your body. And The Subrule, which is: You don't make anyone else feel that they need to apologize for their body. Most of my clients are women.

Many of my clients are facing or have faced significant medical challenges which have altered, scarred, or otherwise changed their bodies. Most of these changes fall outside the subjective norms of 'what women are supposed to look like.' I aim to create at least one place in the world where any person can feel comfortable and confident that their body is not under any sort of judgement. That they are accepted and valued for who and what they are right now. That on my table and in my space, everyone-- EVERYONE-- is beautiful. I grew up the official fat kid of my elementary school.